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This is a story i keep mostly to myself but needed to get it out of my system.
2020.02.03 04:02 LonnesThis is a story i keep mostly to myself but needed to get it out of my system.
I wanted to share a personal story of mine since i feel like i needed objectivity on it. 2 Years ago After me and my ex went on our different path (It ended on a common agreement and pretty nicely) i met a girl online that now i regret ever talking to, We discussed together and we would spend our days talking, after a few months we started online dating. It was sweet and refreshing for me (my previous relationship was 4 year long) to not feel alone anymore, and i really had feelings for this girl. But then after a few weeks it went sour to say the least, she dumped me out of the blue and said she wasn't ready for a relationship yet. I told her i understood and gave her time, one day she had a mental breakdown and i took a step in a place i wish nobody to be into. She revealed to me that she had multiple personality disorder, and she told me to please keep it secret. She sobed that if somebody ever learned, they would take them away from her. I was worried, and instead of doing the good thing of telling her to seek the help of professionnal, told her i would be her moral support with it. What i didn't knew at the time was that her condition was not multiple personalities but mythomania. I spend a bit more than a year helping her with those "mental issues" unkowning of the reality, denying myself rest just to be able to talk with her. i began to isolate myself from my adoptive family (which were having problems on their own) And started living at night only. It's already hard enough as is, butwhat made it terribly hard was that i was under constant gaslighting and manipulations from her and her "mental realm". (Tell me if you want more info on that part because it can be long and i want to keep that short) THe worst part at least for me was how she used my desire for love as a tool, sending me in an endless loop of i love you just to friendzone you a day later. I took on jobs i hated at the same time just so i could gather money to go see her (as she lived 12 hours away from me). I was worried about her health and well being and kept being under her control for a while. Until an incident happend and she began to threaten a friend of mine. I am an artist, and i drew an avatar of her i had created in a bikini for a contest that she agreed on. She even helped me with the breast size and design. So i asked her if i could post it on my blog, she agreed. Up until i made this new friend (he is a sweet person from australia) who saw my work and decided to reblog all of it (he still enjoy my works and retweet everything i post the madlad). She saw that he rebloged my post but she also saw that he was a nsfw reblogger aswell. She tried to confront me so i would take down the picture but in a twist of fate that night, our messaging system had an error and neither of us could contact the other. Thinking i was ghosting her she sent an anonymous ask to my friend saying how much of an ashole i was and if he could remove his post and even proceeded to report him right after sending that ask. He explained the situation to me while on panic and i confronted her about it, she vainely said that it was her friend who did it. I felt betrayed by her since that wasn't her first try at that. I told her i didn't wanted to talk to her againfor a while and that i needed time. The same night i went to bed, only to get woken up by facebook messages of her mom, yelling adn saying she would bring the "Wrath of god" upon me. She even threatened to sue me for drawing her daughter in a lewd manner (just a bikini and her posing like a model with her arm behind her head and standing up). After 2-3 hours of talk with her i was able to reach an amicable point and she wouldn't press charges. And we agreed on three things To never talk again, That i never draw her daughter again and that we wouldn't bad mouth each other. I also learned that everything she had told me was apparently a lie : She never got raped and i was the one stalking her. It took me weeks to get back up, and i was destroyed morally, and i felt like my heart shattered. To this day i still feel numbness in the love departement, like i was deafened by the shattering. I was seriously considering suicide, and wished to never wake up again. When i started to draw weekly, it was a last effort for me : one last chance to start something in my life and create something. At first it didn't brought people, after all i was drawing fanservice and borderline hentai content. I had decided that if i were to create something it would firstly be something that i liked. But then i did a fanart for a dude that motivated me to draw, and that person like my drawing and decided to retweet it. It made me happy that he liked what i created but i was not ready for teh ensuing wave of likes and retweets, when the notifications started popping without stopping i couldn't believe it. People liked the drawing i made. Honestly i cried that day. This single event as insignifiant as it seems, rekindeled the flame of life within me as i felt like i had to continue. IT was a battle against my depression, and over the year became a battle that would inspire others. Some even told me they waited each week for my work as it gave them something to look forward to. To me it felt like i was finally helping and found my call. I also found a new job in my real branch and finally was able to put my life back on track. But as i was finally getting back up and living again, i found out that this girl started to write callouts about me, Saying how i was Sexist, pedofilic, apologist of rape amongst other terrible accusations. Using some of the help i provided for her "Personalities" out of their context just to make me look bad. At first i tried ignoring it, thinking it wouldn't harm me. But it piled on and on and on. They were commenting on everything i created. Admitedly i am an artist that represent alot of futanaries(That's japenese for hermaphrodite) in my works, it's my fault with the whole i draw what i love thing. But they used my characters as reasons to call me transphobic, my work that i made out of love as weapons against me. At some point it became so big that i had to intervene and get the truth out. When i had explained it all to the poster of the callout (who wasn't the girl) They decided to drop out and i contacted the main posters on it to put down the fire of hatred. it had been 4 to 5 months and i wanted to forget about my time with her. One of the member said to me that she despised me for what i had done. Saying that the girl had PTSD whenever they talked about me. After talking with that member i explained that i wanted herno harm and tried being a specialist when i wasn't one. I fucked up and apologised, but in the end it would be better if we both gone out ways. The story seemed to have calmed down, until another account went up with (my name)_callout. That still attacked me on false ground and slandered me. the first person to share those post was the person who despised me. I imidiately tried to talk to them, to get it to stop but they blocked me telling me to go fvck myself. at that point i was receiving anonymous ask telling me to die amongst other things. The callout blog posted something about not being affiliated to the person that said me to go fuck myself, but ended up Causing her to receive threat aswell. In all that situation i always say that i don't go to such tactics and that anybody who would threaten others in my stead or because of me was neither a fan nor a person i accept. Leave them alone, was my motto. I was honest and very adament about that, Anon attacks are some of the scummiest tactics and i despise it. After a month or so the callout disappeared but as you may have guessed it, it wasn't the end. Months later they again went after me and i received annon threat. At this point i was hitting a low point in my job, my boss was leaving and the CEO had made me take my bosses place. It became so stressing i almost had another burnout. and of course at this point those bastard attacks. It was when i took medical days off that i could relax and take a break from a year of drawing and working. I was out of the internet aswell. it felt GREAT. And that's when i realized that fighting was not the answer. i left a last message about her and moved on. Later on i was fired from my job (it was a common agreement) and i moved out of the company. It was end of november when i finally was jobless. I decided to make december special and released one last drawing spree for the final day of the year. Took me the month to get it done and i had finished the due date at 6 am for a post at 10 am. Anyway, i finished the year with a big smile on my face. During the year i had rebuild my social life, professional life and even got my own car. so i went in 2020 lighthearted. Again i receive annon from that girl, trying to say that all the bad thing that happend was just the work of a single hacker that took over her account and that hacker was the one who made me misserable. I didn't replied and after the few days that followed received anon ask to tick me off, but i didn't buldged. got a single real question that i answered with real advices and been doing good. Now there are still things that bother me deep inside. I still can't wrap my head about why she still comes after me after a year. Trying to break my reputaion and mock my work. She keep telling how much a stalker i am despite me litterally going for a new path in life a month after leaving her. I spent the entire year between my work, my art, my friend and playing games, admitedly at very few occasions i would look at her profile (like once a month after the initial 4 month) because i had wished her the best in life (despite the hate i now i have for her) and was wondering if her mental health was improving now. Admitedly when i went to see her profile, i was only wondering if she was healing, with honest good thought. Until i saw the wave of slander, and personal attack she had on me that is, now my only prayer is for her to leave me alone. Turthfully she broke who i was, in the worst way possible. To this day i still wonder if i'm really the asshole and that i am the terrible person she say i am. I talked about this with alot of friends and my adoptive family (It's doing way better now) about it, and all of them agree on the fact that i am someone kind that just got played. I want to trust them all, they have no reason to lie to me. But i felt like i needed to ask complete strangers so i could have better opinions and hopefully get this off my chest. Thanks everyone who read all of this mess. If some of you want more details you can ask me and i'll try to answer as fast as possible. I won't be giving name of course, although it's pretty easy to find, please do not go after those who harased me. Even if their actions are terrible hatred only breed hatred. Also stupid thought but if you are a reddit reader on youtube, please don't put this on a video, i'm not feeling easy with that idea.
2019.06.13 15:53 polleybearainsi qu'une semelle extérieure pour vos randonnée
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2019.04.06 03:36 DagaVanDerMayer[Unexplained Death] Who was "Marysia Sierotka"? Old mystery from Poland
Doe cases in Polish media are rare, especially old ones, so I think this one is worth sharing with you all. This write up is basically translation of Jacek Harłukowicz's 2013 article from „Gazeta Wyborcza” newspaper: here is the original – paywalled and here you can find copy-paste. It's the first time I'm translating one proper article instead of compiling new English text from many sources, so please forgive me any language mistakes. ~~~ On her grave there's only date of death. Her death was investigated in 70s by Milicja Obywatelska [Citizens' Militia, equivalent of police in socialist Poland – DVDM.]. Unsuccessfully. Who was she? It's not hard to find her. Section number 123N/745, main alley of Cmentarz Osobowicki [Osobowice Cementary, Wrocław, Lower Silesia, Poland – DVDM]. Within easy reach – graves not longer than one meter [3 ft – DVDM]. There are only diminutive names on the tombstones: Agatka, Piotruś, Madzia [diminutive forms of names: Agata, Piotr, Magdalena – DVDM]. Some graves are forgotten. I've noticed the one of hers 10 years ago, when by chance I went to that area of the cementary. It was collapsing. There was no slab on its liner. On the tombstone made of terrazzo – they don't make them like this these days, a simple mixture of water, cement and plaster – faded lettering: In Holy Memory of „Marysia Sierotka” [Maria the Little Orphan – DVDM], died April, 6 1976. Plus typical in this part of cementary: „She enlarged the circle of angels” [phrase often used on children's graves in Poland – DVDM]. There was some flowers and burned out grave candle. I've found this grave again in 2010. Again by chance. I've recognized it only by the gravestone, because grave itself looked totally different – golden granite, visible lettering. And new inscription: „Sleep, little angel”. On the grave – plaster figurine. It was contrasting with graves nearby, where many of them are mounds with a plate and a cross. Often the rotten one. Only this inscription was bothering me: „Marysia Sierotka”. Is it a real name? Why there is only date of death? What about date of birth? Few months later I've found Marysia's story on the one of blogs. According to the urban legend shared there girl was living in non-existent children's home on Lekcyjna Street. „She came to the home in postwar Wrocław. She couldn't tell her name, age, whose she is. Only obvious thing was – that's how it was seen by those who met her and took care of her – the fact she was the most beloved, the most wonderful child in the world. This kind of child who will get even love of children's home staff. Nobody remembers why she died. She couldn't be more than six or seven. But I'm sure her death brought true sadness, despair and tears of caretakers.” Bolesław's find In march of 2013 I've contacted the management of the children's home. Institution was then runned by Stowarzyszenie „Nasz Dom” [„Our Home” Association – DVDM] (now it's Wrocławskie Centrum Opieki i Wychowania [Care and Education Center of Wrocław – DVDM]). I was looking for the documents that would lead me to the girl's trail. Principal Hanna Jednaszewska checked out archives. It turned out that „Marysia Sierotka” was never here. In Zarząd Cmentarzy Komunalnych [Board of Municipal Cementeries – DVDM] there was an uphill battle, too. In the middle of 2013 principal Zofia Kluszycka hadn't really wanted to talk about the grave. Anyway she claimed that she doesn't know much about it. Yes, there is a grave like this. It was renovated 3 years earlier and private person who founded gravestone, doesn't want to reveal his/her name. However, with time distrust of the principal has passed. Together we established that Marysia wasn't girl's name. She was named after her death. And indeed, she wasn't living in children's home on Lekcyjna Street. Or in any other. In her birth certificate – that is death certificate at the same time – there's no name or surname, date and place of birth. In sections, where these informations are usually entered, then „deputy menager of Urząd Stanu Cywilnego [Registry Office – DVDM] Teresa Bęben” typed: „On April 6, 1976 on city dump on Bardzka Street in Wrocław there was found by citizen [blackened], living in Wrocław on [blackened] Street, dead female fetus of so far unidentified mother. The childbirth occured on April 5, 1976. Fetus was born dead, weighs 1 kilogram [2,20 lb – DVDM], is 36 centimeters [14 inches – DVDM] long. From research done in this area and external examination of the fetus it appears that fetus is at about six months gestation.” [original spelling] There is also annonation that „certificate was based on document of headquaters of Milicja Obywatelska in Wrocław from April 12, 1976”. Plus signature of case. In today Komenda Wojewódzka Policji [Provincial Police Headquaters – DVDM] in Wrocław I haven't found any trace of that investigation. Nearly 40 years passed. The case was not about murder, more about abadonment. Files probably are catching dust, forgotten, in the archives or were destroyed. But we can determine information about the man who on April 6, 1976, found Marysia's little body on Bardzka Street. I don't know much about him. His name was Bolesław Tomczyk, he was then 48 years old. He died on May, 30 1996. He was buried on Cmentarz Grabiszyński [Grabiszyn Cementary – DVDM]. His burial took place on Children's Day [June, 1 in Poland – DVDM]. There are no witnesses „City dump on Bardzka Street” from 1976 now is Wzgórze Gajowe [Gaj Hill – DVDM]. Residents of blocks of flats situated nearby call it „Wysyp”. Before World War II German fertilizer factory Silesia was working here and after Adolf Hitler came to power in 1933, one of the first concentration camps for fuhrer's political opponents – KZ Durrgoy – was organized here. After the war rubble from destroyed Breslau buildings was transported here, as well as municipal waste. Here in 1958 Andrzej Wajda shot the last scene of „Popiół i diament” [„Ashes and Diamonds” - DVDM]. That one when Maciek Chełmicki, played by Zbigniew Cybulski, dies on a pile of rubbish. When in April 1976 Bolesław Tomczyk appeared on the dump, there was no trace of the movie nor blocks of flats. The blocks will be built three years later. That's why when I was going round the neighbourhood and trying to ask residents about this story, nobody could say anything. -They'd started building first plattenbau blocks here in 1979, so you rather won't find here anyone who remembers this kind of things – muses older man, whose I'm bugging on Srebrnogórska Street. Anyway he had never heard about any Marysia, especially the Little Orphan. Except this one from Konopnicka. [Maria Konopnicka's fairy tale „Little Orphan Mary and the Gromes”, popular in Poland – DVDM]. Hill itself still is rather scarying than encouraging for walks. Yes, there were great plans – including building indoor ski slope, similar to this in „Mall of Emirates” in Dubai, but it ended on the plans. Last year somebody submitted the project – to create here within the Wrocławski Budżet Obywatelski [Citizens Budget of Wrocław – DVDM] recreation space with bike paths, but the project lost the vote. It got 294 votes. Nice tombstone in stock 10 years after I've found Marysia for the first time and 5 years after somebody put up a proper gravestone for her, I reached a man who decided that Little Orphan can't lie in the crumbling grave. Andrzej Płocki passes her grave from nearly 40 years. His brother is buried nearby. Five years ago he decided he can't look anymore on the decaying grave. He didn't know her story. He took legend circulating online for the truth. He is stonecutter, he works in graves from 42 years. He runs the plant in the neighbourhood of Cmentarz Osobowicki. It's family business. In addition to him and his wife, his two daughers and son-in-law are working here. -For many years, like many people, we were lighing the candles, wife was bringing fresh flowers. There is something in this inscription „Marysia Sierotka” that doesn't allow a man to pass by – he says calmly, when we're already standing over her grave. He rearranges flowers, sweeps up fallen leaves from the gravestone. -When our grandchildren were born, we have started to look differently at children and the tragedies of parents who are losing them. When parent come to order a gravestone for his child, I'm crying with him – adds Jolanta Płocka. -And with Marysia it was an impulse. It was before All Saints' Day. We just had a nice children's tombstone in stock. I've asked my husband: maybe we'll put it up for Little Orphan? They replaced old terrazzo with Indian granite. Market value – at least several thousand zlotys. They didn't take a penny. Because from whom? Cementary menagement, which must each time give official permission to replace the gravestone, approached the replacement kindly. They even didn't demand fees, customary on such occassions. For example for entering the cementary area by car. Because the tombstone had to be delivered somehow. Now Marysia Sierotka lies in one of the prettiest sections on her area. The plaster angel, that Jolanta Płocka bought on Allegro [Polish auction site, similar to eBay – DVDM], stands undisturbed from 5 years. Although there is a lot of thefts on the cementary. Angel has a rosary in its hands. It's the only thing that remained from the old grave. An elderly woman who stops at the Marysia's grave at first eyeballs me, but later, pointing the rosary, says: And only it remained after the child. She rearranges the daisies that I brought a moment earlier. ~~ Photos:
2013.08.10 07:22 YellowFeatheredNurseI think I'm ready to tell my story here.
Hi everybody! Edited to say - Sorry for the wall of text. :) I just stumbled across this sub a few weeks ago, and have had all of this stewing in my mind for several weeks now, but I'm starting to see more and more clearly that I was raised by a narcissist mom. One of the first posts I saw on here was about the Mormon N-mom, and I thought, holy shit! That's my mom! and I've been reeling ever since. Quick backstory: I'm the middle child (22f), with an older brother (26 - mentally disabled) and a younger sister (20). Our parents both grew up active Mormons, and my siblings and I grew up Mormon as well. Our parents split when I was 14, it was messy, lots of trauma. My dad left the church. After the divorce, my mom went back to school, and two years ago, moved to the Middle East, working as an English teacher. In my adult life so far, I have been pretty successful/active - I have traveled, volunteered, worked/lived abroad, and am almost done with my undergrad. My sister has taken two terms of college, and flunked out each one. Two important things: each summewinter break, my mom comes home to the US, and stays with my boyfriend and I (in the home we own together). And, as far as I can tell, my sister is the GC, and I am the SG, but I think we have played opposite roles at times. In reading through this sub for the past few weeks, I have started seeing things in an entirely new light. I started out thinking "well, maybe she's just pretty self-centered" and then "well, maybe she has narcissistic tendencies", and then the more I read, the more I'm going - THIS MAKES SENSE! THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH! I've suffered from pretty crippling insecurity/self-doubt in my adult life. (It's pretty much a miracle that my boyfriend is the sweetest guy ever, and is so willing to give me all the time I need to sort out my crazy.) It really became apparent when I moved out to go to college, that I was co-dependent. I was having issues making decisions, and would call my mom sobbing, hoping she wouldn't be disappointed in me. (blegh!). I have since made huge strides to understand that I'm responsible for my happiness, and that everyone else is responsible for theirs. I still have a huge need to have approval from my mom (in a way that I think I should have grown out of by now). I've also really struggled with understanding why my sister gets different treatment than I do. Several distinct memories from my childhood stick out: the first time my sister called me a bitch, my parents heard, and I got punished for "provoking her" and she got taken out to Dairy Queen. (Am I the only person who thinks this is crazy?!) In our adult life, my mom's preferential treatment has been to give money/gifts to us in different amounts and at different times - I'm starting to think that it's on purpose, to pit us against each other. My sister and I are similar, and I always wonder why we're not better friends. One reason the "n-mom" diagnosis is giving me trouble, is that I'm just wondering: is this just a way for me to frame my mom as the crazy one, so that I feel normal? Or is this really the insecurity that she's instilled in my brain, speaking? I have a really hard time judging/evaluating life, and trusting my own judgements. But, framing her as an N-mom, and my sister as the GC, would explain so much. Just today, my sister and I had a little tiff, and my mom got involved. Things got heated, and my sister left. My mom called her, apologizing for making her mad, and followed after her, and they went to a movie/shopping. Later today my mom and I had it out. It felt shitty to fight, but it also was the first time I tried to call her out on every little thing, and saw her argument style for what it is. Her argument included phrases like:
"Ever since you were little, YellowFeatheredNurse, nothing I do will ever be enough"
"Stop playing the victim, YellowFeatheredNurse, it's unbecoming."
(when I asked why she went to the movie with my sister after they fought) "Because I wasn't gonna let you ruin our plans, because you want to play the martyr."
"Own your part of this, YellowFeatheredNurse, you're not willing to problem solve" (when I told her that I didn't have to problem solve her way.)
"We want the same things, all of us want to be friends." (speaking for all of us, and not for just herself)
"You're so resentful, YellowFeatheredNurse, you always have been."
And so on. It really fucks with my mind, because I get thinking like, "am I over-reacting?" and "am I resentful for no reason?" and I can't make heads or tails of it. When I read up on what gas lighting was, my jaw hit the floor - THAT IS MY MOM! You can't even have a reasonable conversation or disagreement with her, because her go-to move if she's backed into a corner is "what are you talking about?" or "I didn't say that! I did not say that! You're skewing my words! You're putting words in my mouth!" - holy crow. Another big one is "While you're up... " - this was my entire childhood. "While you're up, refill my Dr. Pepper." Gah!! Other potentially relevant facts: She has always (since I've known her) been really really into Self-Help books and programs. She attends AA (she's never drank a sip in her life) and OA (Overeaters annon), she reads self-help mantras daily, she listens to "meetings" online, and hosts meetings at her house. All of this is on top of her extremely devout Mormonism - so you could say she loves dogma. In my life, as long as I've been in charge of what I eat, I have never eaten a banana. I don't like the texture, taste, or smell. Never have, and never will. Every few years, I try it out, thinking I may have changed, and I spit it into the garbage. Every time my mom gets bananas out, she offers it to me. I generally respond with something like "Have I ever eaten a banana, ever?" and she goes "I don't know - do you like them?" THE ALOOFNESS DRIVES ME FUCKING NUTS. When I moved into my house, my Mormon church records were still where I started college. She had them moved to my town, and called the bishop of my town (from where she was - the MIDDLE EAST) to send missionaries, visiting teachers, and home teachers over to me. Yet, when my sister moves, she leaves her records where they were. When I started dating my boyfriend in college (my current boyfriend), she had never met him, so she called a relative of someone he had lived with, and tracked down people she had never met, so she could ask if my boyfriend was a good person. wtf? - all under the guise of "I care about you!" In this post - I am feeling simultaneously anxious/cathartic. Anxious that she will somehow find this and I'll be in trouble, and cathartic, because the more I write down, the more this makes sense. I know it's super hard to convey all the little details that lead someone to classify their mom as an N-mom. And if you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I guess I'm just ranting/looking for validation/interested in opinions. Do you think I'm over-reacting? I am trying to get outsiders opinions and be not-quick to judge.
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